Father's Day? Where the Hell Is Uncle Russ Day?

I’m not much of a complainer -- well, not too much anyway; but I'm going to let a complaint rip: Where in the hell is Uncle Russ Day?

I am in Louisville for the celebration of friends' 50^th wedding anniversary and have run up against the brick wall of Father's Day. Do we really need a Father's Day? Do we need a Mother's Day, for that matter?

These special occasions concocted by the greeting-card companies and florists need to go along with Post Office/bank "Monday" holidays. All a "Monday" holiday means to me is that no paychecks will arrive, which is okay because I couldn't deposit them anyway; why? Because all the damn banks are closed.

I had no clue that Father's Day was this weekend. I'm not a father and mine has been dead since 1973 -- may he rest in peace. But here I am in Louisville and the restaurants are slammed because it's Father's Day. This disappointing development would be easier to swallow if there were an Uncle Russ Day.

I wouldn't mind being inconvenienced by throngs of families honoring their member fathers if I had a day myself.  But nooooo, every day is just another day for me.

And the fact that I have to wait in line an extra hour to have lunch on these made-up holidays just makes it all the more painful.