The Most Painful Thing About My Recent Dentist Visit Didn't Happen in the Chair

I invested $1,600 and two hours in my dentist's chair a couple of mornings ago. I could have put both the time and cash to better use.

I've had a couple of dental issues hanging over my head for at least three years. The main one was a molar with a corner broken off around a 45-year-old filling. It wasn't causing a problem; in fact, when they x-rayed it a month ago, there was no decay around it at all. I might have been okay to let it go another three years, but didn't want to push my luck.

Better a crown now than a root canal and a crown later on.

I don't exaggerate when I say that an entire hour of my time in the chair was getting drilled and grinded -- my teeth, not me.

When we laid the ground work for this project on my exam visit a month ago, the plan was to do the preliminary crown work on this visit: take impressions, grind the tooth down to a post and insert a temp crown.

Apparently the tooth behind the one requiring the crown had a failing filling that was showing a crack or two and some decay. The plan was to replace that filling on the next visit when the permanent crown was to be installed.

I guess my dentist, Dr Demento, made a seat-of-his-pants decision yesterday when I was already in the chair to do both procedures at the same time.

I suspect he had a cancellation and found himself with some extra time on his hands.

Oh, did I mention that he didn't even hint at what he was doing to me.

The drilling and grinding went on and on and on. It wasn't painful, just stressful.

If you have a recliner at home, tilt back, hold you mouth open as wide as you can then using your hands force it open a bit farther, and stare into a bright light. Do it for an hour.

I was ready to confess to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby.

As painful as the procedure was, it was nothing compared to settling up at the finance desk.

I cried like a baby.

Hell, I didn't really want to remodel my kitchen anyway.